I haven't written in a while, and I have even started to feel bad for not doing so. The last couple months or so I've really been in a "funk". It could be my emotions are still a little off kilter from having a baby, but whatever it was, it wasn't pretty. I woke up angry everyday. Angry that I was responsible for taking care of everything. Angry that I didn't get enough sleep. Angry that I didn't feel appreciated. Angry that I never had time for myself or what I wanted. I was just plain ANGRY! I didn't feel like tomorrow was going to be any better. I felt like every day dragged on and I had nothing to look forward to. After Jessica ( Marla & Eric's Neice) lost her little baby Connor, it made me think. Here I have 2 wonderful children, and I'm complaining about my life? I'm unhappy because why? All the things I was Angry about became pointless. I realized that right now I am making memories for my children. I want them to remember happiness and joy, not an Angry and resentful monster. I don't think I was enjoying being a mom as much as I used to. I felt like it was a job, instead of a priveledge. Life is too short to be angry. I felt my anger would make a point to my family, that I needed help around the house or that I needed appreciation. They never saw that. They just saw the anger and ran. Now that I've re-evaluated my situation, I've let go of the anger. A happy attitude got way better results with both my husband and my son. I feel happier than I've felt in a long time. Anger got me no where. I'm glad I learned this lesson now, before I spent my whole life making myself and my family miserable. I feel like I've been given a second chance to be a better mom and wife. A happier person in general. Get rid of the anger. It only deteriorates you mentally and physically. There are no benefits with anger. It will kill you!

Do you ever feel content in knowing what you know, and never learning anything more?  I think the majority of people would say no. I know I love to learn new things all the time. I wonder why it is then that when it comes to knowing God some people do feel that way. They feel they know all they need to know about God and what they have been taught is satisfactory . It almost seems like they'd rather bury their heads in the sand than be taught something new. I think  part of the reason for this is that it is so taboo for people to question what they have learned in the religous system. Years upon years people have drilled the same things into our heads, so it must be true right? WRONG! You MUST  research for yourself. To never further your relationship with God beyond what we've been taught is a tragedy. Going through the motions, but never knowing the truth is doing yourself an incredible injustice.  Know what you know, not what someone else thinks they know! Empower yourself with His word.

Have you heard yourself or someone else ever say, " I really need to get back in church." Do you feel guilty for every Sunday that passes without you being  there. Do you feel that even if you don't live your life right, that at least if you were at church, things would look better. I know alot of people go to church for the sake of pleasing others and to say " I go to church!"  Some how it makes you feel better about yourself or your life. It's like putting on makeup. On the outside everything looks great, but really theres an enormous pimple hiding underneath. The bible says God will not be found in a building built by hands. Lose the guilt. To attend church to be aesthetically pleasing, while learning nothing is worthless. I know more about God now than I ever learned while attending church. Church seemed more about socializing than learning  (to me anyways). As long as your seeking Him, it doesn't matter where you do it. Clear out all your guilt and worries. God has already let them go, and you should too. I'm not trying to say " Don't go to church!" I'm trying to say that you shouldn't feel guilty if you don't. Church can be anywhere you make it.